My senior year in high school, I took an elbow to my lip from a girl named Liz Lawlor. Why do I remember her name 37 years later? Memory is funny that way. The fact that this memory is wrapped up in the emotions of anger and the pain of splitting my lip is why it’s still vivid to me. It was a heated game with plenty of pushing, shoving, and fouls. After being elbowed in the lip and knocked to the floor, I found myself sitting on the hardwood, my vision narrowing—perhaps the blow had stunned me. I slammed my fists down on the court.

When I put my hands out in front of me, all I could see was bright red blood.

Little did I know that when I wrote my blog post about integrating "vacation me" and "everyday me", a few months later, I would write another post about my vacation purchase—or lack of purchase—experiences. This most recent experience involved buying a whole new bohemian-style wardrobe (second-hand on eBay) and actively addressing my bad habit of self-abandonment.

Since 2016, I've been consistently journaling. I’m not one to fill pages about my feelings or recount what happened yesterday. Instead, my journals are mostly filled with notes on the books I've read, the people I’ve interacted with, and plenty of self-criticism on how I could be better.

Looking back through these pages, I realized how one simple but profound habit transformed me from the inside out. This tool not only changed who I was as a person but also impacted my physical and mental health. I learned how to take a breath, check in with my emotions, and become less reactive—turning what could have ruined me into opportunities for growth.

Last week was full of interesting, deep, and soulful conversations—many of them unexpected, vulnerable, and civil. I was surprised by how thoughtful and respectful people were, even as we discussed difficult topics like the election and the state of the country.

I went to bed early on election night, not knowing the outcome. Wednesday morning, I followed my usual routine: journaling, meditating, writing. Only after did I check my phone, taking a deep breath before Googling, “Who won the election?”

Health tracking devices, such as Oura Rings and Fitbits, can provide valuable insights into sleep, heart rate, and movement. My personal experience with tracking has led to improved habits and a deeper understanding of my body. Despite initial skepticism, I encourage others to try tracking for a week to see if it can help them achieve their health goals.

This afternoon, we’re leaving for vacation. It's been on the calendar for three months, and ever since, I’ve been keeping mental lists of things to do before we go. Some are in the notes app on my phone, others scribbled on paper, but regardless of where they “live,” they’re all on a loop in my mind. This isn’t just about vacation prep, either; there’s always a list of things I want to accomplish—things to do, things to be, things to become—playing on repeat in my head.

You know how we place items at the top or bottom of a staircase, intending to take them on our next trip upstairs or downstairs? A few weeks ago, I did just that with a plastic container—no lid but sturdy enough, waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I hadn’t decided what to do with it yet, so there it sat, waiting for someone to carry it up.

Then one day, while playing with my 2-year-old granddaughter Zoe in the basement, we started heading upstairs. There was the container, still on the bottom step. Without a word, Zoe, unprompted, grabbed the slightly heavy, awkward container and lugged it upstairs. With a huff, she placed it on the top step and marched into the kitchen. I was both impressed and confused. I thanked her, and over the next few days, this moment became a story I shared with friends—and the inspiration for this post.

I’ll ask you: do you consider yourself open-minded? Are you open-minded on some topics or areas of your life, or the world, but not so much in others?

What makes us open or closed-minded? Is it who our friends are, what we read, where we grew up, where we live, the TV shows we watch? And let’s not forget our spouses—they, too, have an influence on what we think. These are all factors that shape us, often without us even realizing it. My belief is that if we want to be open-minded, we have to actively seek out differing opinions and diverse life experiences to help us grow.

Perhaps it’s the recent loss of our little dog or the health challenges we’ve faced with our middle dog that got me thinking about funerals. 

Let me start by saying that this post, like all my writings, is about my personal reflections, experiences, and ponderings. It’s not meant to judge others—just to share what I’ve found inside myself.

The first loss I experienced was my paternal grandfather. When my grandparents visited, they’d bring Dunkin' Donuts, and my grandfather would often fall asleep on the couch.

When I hear the word "austerity," I immediately think of the government tightening its belts or corporations being more frugal with their spending. It may sound harsh or extreme, but as I have discovered, austerity can also be fun and even magical.

Webster’s dictionary defines austerity as “sternness or severity of manner or attitude.”

Do you ever find yourself acting, dressing, or being different depending on who you're with or where you are? I can raise my hand as being that person for most of my life. About 20 years ago, I realized I was doing this in many places, but a striking example was when I was on vacation.

Weeks before a trip, I would start packing all my favorite or best clothes and shoes—possibly items I only wore on special occasions. I wanted to feel and dress like the best version of myself on the trip. Something else I became aware of was the things I would buy while I was on vacation.

In mid-June, a friend/coach of mine mentioned that she was participating in a 20-day cacao experience. It touts, “Could drinking chocolate every day change your life? Join us in this 20-day experience to find out how Ceremonial Cacao and the spirit it carries can open your heart and allow you to have a deeper connection with yourself and your life.” Honestly, I was not looking for a cacao experience, but I was curious. I signed up without hesitation and without doing any research. This is not how I usually make decisions. Typically, I ask myself how I feel about something and go with the response, I feel a “hell yes” or a “hell no.” This time, it was not a yes or a no, I just decided to jump in.

Growing up, I never felt like I fit in anywhere. The people around me knew what they wanted to be when they grew up; they had skills like math or science, things they were good at, music, art, theater. My high school class produced an epic comedian and a Rhodes scholar, for heaven’s sake. When I sat and tried to feel into or imagine what I wanted to do or be, there was nothing. Nothing I was good at, I was a great basketball player, but I was not going to go pro.

Yesterday, we put down Cosmo, our 15+ year old Bichon Frise, whom we called Cozie or “little dog.”

My daughter’s father gave Toria Cosmo when she was about 11 years old. Her father and I were divorced, so the plan was for Cozie to go back and forth between our homes with Toria. Everything seemed fine until, within weeks of bringing home this itty bitty puppy, my ex-husband’s black lab and he were left home alone. Best anyone could figure, the lab bit Cozie’s head, and we later found out that his jaw was broken.

Daily I am a wife, a friend, and a neighbor. One to two days of the week, I am a mother and a grandmother. A couple of times a year, I am a sister and a daughter to my mother.

Once a year, I get to be my father’s daughter.

This weekend, my father came to stay with us for two nights, something that has happened once a year for the past 7 or 8 years, barring those COVID years. I really do not like the fact that we measure so many things by COVID. But I digress.

My parents divorced when I was 18 years old. My mother moved out, and we lived with my dad. Let’s go back further than that. Growing up, I strived to please my dad and make him proud, seeking his approval in the things that I did — playing basketball, and running track — although I never seemed to be quite good enough.

f you have a sibling, I am sure that you have asked your parents who their favorite was, and who they loved more. Parents always answered, "You are both my favorite, and I love you the same." Even though this, too, was my parents’ answer, I was always more like my dad and my sister like my mom. Whether he would admit it or not, I was my father’s favorite. At the same time, although he denies it to this day, I am pretty sure my dad wished I had been a boy.

We have all had those moments, those experiences or seen something happen in front of us where we were faced with the choice of doing nothing and looking the other way or stepping in and facing the possible consequences. Thinking back in my life I have had more than my share of those opportunities. Look away, don’t step in when someone needs help. I have never been able to be that person. Even when friends, significant others, etc. have said, “Don’t get involved” or “Someone else can take care of that” or the worst for me loved ones who say “You have to keep your priorities straight.” Really??

Lately I have been thinking about how curious I am, and I started to think back to when I was younger and noticed, this is nothing new, I have always been very curious. These days my curiosity shows up in how I look at people, are they in a good mood or a bad mood. If a neighbor’s car is gone for a few days, if their work schedule has changed and their car is gone at a different time or the outside lights are on a different schedule, I notice.

In the last speech I gave for Toastmasters I shared about a visit from “Old Lisa.” The reactive, impatient version of Lisa, who I used to be. One of the pieces of feedback I received on my speech was that I should share 3 or so of the tools that helped me become a better version of me.

As I was writing the last speech, I considered that, and the fact that the tools became their own 6 minute speech/blog post is perhaps why I did not cover them in my last speech/blog.

These days I am even keeled, easy to get along with and patient. I have worked hard to cultivate a better version of myself. This is not who I have always been. As you may know I was born in NJ and lived most of my life in CT, so if I told you that once upon a time, I had an East Coast Attitude you probably would not be surprised?

When I googled “East Coast Attitude” 

Someday, I am going to write a book, and the title may be “Everything I needed to know about life I learned in the car business,” or it may be the title above that ChatGPT supplied!

My life until taking over the car business was filled with personal growth and emotional learning, sort of life’s way of preparing me for what was to come. The first several years there were so many things to learn and understand that I was exhausted at the end of most days. As fast as I was implementing my knowledge and learning how to handle the challenges of buy here pay here, it threw brand new situations at me.