The Blank Space of No Reply

The inspiration for my bi-weekly blog posts comes from my life, the events around me, or an idea that strikes me and simply needs to be written about. These posts can be deeply personal and vulnerable or more practical and factual. This week’s post is personal, current, and, hopefully, practical. It might resonate as something you’ve experienced in your daily life, or maybe it’s something you’ve never had an issue with—in which case, lucky you! 

Yesterday, after what felt like years of inner turmoil, I removed myself from two family group text threads. It was a decision made for my mental health, plain and simple. 

Does that sound dramatic or drastic? To one of my family members, it certainly did. But to me, it felt like something I’ve done unconsciously in other ways over the years: stepping away from groups, situations, or even relationships that were disturbing my mental peace. It was not the first time I’ve done this—at least twice before in the past two years—and it probably won’t be the last. 

Naturally, some questions arise: Is this a big deal? Should it be? Why did I do it? Does it matter what others think? How much consideration do we owe other people? How hard should we work at relationships? 

The Catalyst 

Yesterday, TikTok was down for about 13 hours. While many of us were processing that, I was staring at the last text I had sent to my mom and sister in one of the family threads. My text had gone unreplied to. Should I assume they saw it and decided not to respond? Or should I give them the benefit of the doubt? 

I waited 24 hours before my sister finally replied with a simple “Yes” to a question I had asked. Another 24 hours passed before my mom responded to my follow-up message with another “Yes.” For her response, context mattered, and I needed clarity. When my daughter texts me and I reply with just “OK,” she’ll come back with, “What’s wrong?” Ever since, I’ve made an effort to reply in full sentences to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings. 

But this blog isn’t about etiquette, manners, or the decline of our social interactions. It’s about me—how I internalize these situations and what unanswered messages trigger inside me. Those flashing blanks of silence feel like a giant neon sign saying, You don’t matter. Nobody cares. And yes, I know it’s not rational, but those feelings persist. 

The Pattern 

This isn’t unique to family group texts. I’ve sent thoughtful, caring messages to stepchildren that have gone unanswered. I’ve texted simple “How are you?” messages to other relatives, only to be met with silence. 

On my husband’s side, when pressed for why they don’t reply, the usual excuse is, “Sorry, I’m so busy.” Busy? The text was sent 24 hours ago! 

I’m also part of a group of women who meet quarterly for mutual support I often feel like I’m the only one posting in the group. A few weeks ago, after hearing nothing in response to several messages, I finally asked, “Do you all still want to do this?” The replies came back quickly: “Yes, absolutely, blah blah.” Is this what unrequited love feels like? Putting energy into communication only to receive silence in return? 

The Internal Struggle 

I Googled, “Why do unanswered text messages bother me?” and instantly found this:
“The delay in receiving a text response may trigger a fear of rejection. You might be worried that the lack of replies implies that the other person isn’t interested in talking to you or has certain negative feelings towards you.”
Well, there it is. Nailed it. 

I’m aware that this is about me and my reactions. I assume full responsibility for the way I internalize these situations. I know people are human. Sometimes they respond to provocative texts while benign ones go ignored. Sometimes life gets busy. But I can’t help but notice how unanswered texts stick with me and create anxiety. 

The Choice to Walk Away 

Yesterday, I left the family text group. I let them know it was for my mental health and that they could reach me by phone if needed. For me, this wasn’t just about the texts—it was about preserving my peace. If certain group dynamics repeatedly trigger stress and anxiety, why force myself to stay in them? 

I always check in with a trusted friend or my life coach when making decisions like this, to ensure I’m not missing an important lesson. While I try to be mindful and self-reflective, I know that some relationships, settings, or groups just aren’t good for me. That’s okay. No one else needs to understand or agree with my choices but me. 

A Lesson in Reaction 

One of my highest spiritual goals is to be non-reactive: to remain calm and unaffected, no matter what happens around me. In many situations, I do this well. But when group dynamics bring me repeated stress, I realize I’m not there yet. It’s something I’m still working on, and maybe that’s the lesson. 

At the end of the day, the only thing I can control is myself—my reactions, my boundaries, and my peace of mind. Whether it’s unanswered texts, mismatched communication styles, or group settings that aren’t a fit, the path forward is clear: choose what protects your peace. The rest will follow.