Embracing Authenticity: Blending Vacation and Everyday Self

Do you ever find yourself acting, dressing, or being different depending on who you're with or where you are? I can raise my hand as being that person for most of my life. About 20 years ago, I realized I was doing this in many places, but a striking example was when I was on vacation.

Weeks before a trip, I would start packing all my favorite or best clothes and shoes—possibly items I only wore on special occasions. I wanted to feel and dress like the best version of myself on the trip. Something else I became aware of was the things I would buy while I was on vacation.

As a kid on a family vacation to the Cape, I would search store after store for the right Billabong Surf-style t-shirt and the puka bead necklace. At Rehoboth Beach, it was the jingly hippie ankle bracelet. While in Nashville, I made my husband stop at every cowboy boot store on Broadway until I found just the right pair at the right price. And then there was the poncho I bought on a cruise. For days, I walked past it, deciding if I really loved it, and I thought I did. But once I came home, I never wore it.

One memorable vacation purchase, as an 18-year-old, involved my sister’s best friend and me buying matching tie-dyed jumpers on a trip to the Cape. As a woman whose style would typically be described as classic, what was I searching for or hoping to feel like in this outfit?

On my last trip to the Jersey Shore, I bought a green sweatshirt that said "Avalon" on it. Even though my husband said I would never wear it, I loved it and had to buy it. It was something my classy, wealthy Aunt Kathy would wear. When I came home, this sweatshirt didn’t feel right. It didn’t make me feel wealthy and classy—all the things I related to my Aunt Kathy. It just reminded me of how inadequate I felt around her.

While these purchases could all be dismissed as part of the tourist trap—the allure of a vacation spot that gets you to buy things in a place that feels different, new, and fun—looking back, there was more to this for me than just buying souvenirs. I felt like my self-expression was hindered at home. No one was doing this to me; I was putting this on myself.

After the green sweatshirt, I was done. It was then and there that I decided to implement a “no shopping on vacation” rule. Going further, I also took a closer look at why I was consistently buying things that weren’t me while on vacation. Did I want to dress more easy-going and fun in my everyday life? What was I seeking in these souvenirs?

Somehow, I needed to begin integrating home and vacation me. I began having a little more fun with my clothes and accessories, not saving that dress, those white jeans, or those dangly earrings for a special occasion. I aimed to become one person who was more comfortable being herself, not buying something to fill a void or hoping those green suede moccasins I bought in Miami would make me feel classier in Ohio.

Every day is a journey and an exercise for me to love and appreciate myself for who I am and what I bring to the table. I strive to be “her” when I get dressed in the morning, not just when I’m on vacation. I realized I was always searching for something outside of myself to make me happy—to find some other version of me that seemed to only exist on vacation.

Even with the “no shopping on vacation” rule in place, I slipped up a few months ago on a trip to Georgia. It was chillier than expected, and I needed some warmer clothes for the week. I had my husband drop me off at a TJ Maxx to grab a few things. The boots I bought; I loved even when I got home. But the sweater with orangey-red and black blocks on it that vacation me bought was not such a good move. After trying several times to wear it at home, I gave it to a friend who loves all things red.

As I continue this journey of blending my vacation and everyday selves, I'm learning that true authenticity doesn't come from a wardrobe or a souvenir—it comes from within. It’s about embracing who I am in every setting, whether I'm on a beach, in a bustling city, or just at home. The real transformation happens when I no longer feel the need to search for external validation or try on different versions of myself to fit the moment. Instead, I’m choosing to bring the best version of me—comfortable, confident, and complete—wherever I go.