My Journey to Becoming More Open-Minded
o·pen-mind·ed - willing to consider new ideas; unprejudiced.
I’ll ask you: do you consider yourself open-minded? Are you open-minded on some topics or areas of your life, or the world, but not so much in others?
What makes us open or closed-minded? Is it who our friends are, what we read, where we grew up, where we live, or the TV shows we watch? And let’s not forget our spouses—they, too, influence what we think. These are all factors that shape us, often without us even realizing it. I believe that if we want to be open-minded, we have to actively seek out differing opinions and diverse life experiences to help us grow.
Personally, I find myself very willing to consider new ideas, listen to and reflect on others' opinions, and maybe even try them. I won’t say that some topics aren’t harder than others, or that it’s easy to stay calm when I disagree with what someone is saying. It can be uncomfortable. But I can listen and ask questions about any topic. This is because I am genuinely curious and want to hear how others see or feel about anything—from what they are reading to their views on political leaders. People, their lives, opinions, and views are all fascinating.
For example, if someone talks about a frustrating interaction with a colleague, I find myself curious about the colleague’s perspective. I might even say something like, “Maybe they were having a bad morning,” or “If you were in their shoes, how would you have reacted?” I don’t just automatically take the side of the person speaking to me. This can be annoying if they just want to gossip or vent; they might even regret starting the conversation.
These days I am open-minded, but looking back, I wasn’t always that way. When I was younger, my opinions about things were very black-and-white.
Let me share a few examples of how my thinking has expanded.
Homelessness – When I was younger, I thought homeless people should stop being slackers, get it together, get a job, and contribute to society like everyone else. Nowadays, my opinion on homelessness is more nuanced. While I still believe they shouldn’t take over the streets of cities like Los Angeles or set up camps in New York, I also ask: where should they go? Many homeless people need more than food and shelter; they need emotional or mental health support. Our system isn’t set up to help them properly. As anyone who’s dealt with addiction knows, people won’t accept help unless they are ready. And if they’re mentally ill, they can’t be forced to take medication if they don’t want to. Plus, we simply don’t have enough housing.
Guns – I grew up in Connecticut, and guns were a hard “no.” But now, I’m a registered gun owner who believes that everyone who wants a gun should have a concealed carry permit and know the rules. On the flip side, I also understand why some people might feel the need to own an unregistered gun if they don’t trust the government, which I don’t on many fronts.
Religion – In my teens and twenties, I think I was what one would call an atheist. My grandmother used to say things about God that confused me and made me feel powerless. If I couldn’t touch it, I didn’t believe in it. Now, I fully believe in a higher power or a universal consciousness—though I’m not sure I’d call it “God.”
My husband is a devout church-going, Bible-reading Christian. Even though I’m not a believer, every Sunday I ask him how church was and what the sermon was about. I genuinely want to know. Sermons can be profound, thought-provoking, and inspiring. His response every week? “It was church.” He only feels comfortable discussing church with people who share his beliefs.
As an adult, my open-mindedness sometimes confuses people—and occasionally, it surprises me too.
Politics – I’m a registered Republican, but I believe we need social programs that actually help the people they’re supposed to. For example, I have a friend with two children, one of whom has a serious disability. Her ex-husband is on disability due to alcoholism, which means she’s not eligible for child support or state assistance. How is that fair? The system needs to be fixed—too many people take advantage, while others aren’t getting the help they need.
When Kamala Harris was announced as a candidate for vice president, I listened to her first speech, and her energy was refreshing. Don’t tell my husband, but for a second, I thought maybe she could do good for the country, and I could vote for her. Then I remembered she doesn’t support several issues that are important to me.
What has helped me become more open-minded? I was born in New Jersey, lived overseas for 4 years, and lived in Connecticut. Later I moved to Ohio. I read books on different topics; I listen to a wide variety of podcasts. When I used to watch the news, I watched Fox News and listened to NPR in the car. I have a diverse group of friends whos’ views often differ from mine. As always, I listen, am curious, and ask questions, noticing how their words feel in my body. No one must be right or wrong, we can just be different. My life experiences have given me opportunities to be more open-minded and I have chosen to get the most out of them.
So, I ask you again—how open-minded are you? Could you do better? The topics I mentioned can be tough for some people. How did each one feel to you when I talked about them?
If you want to become more open-minded, I’d encourage you to start by simply listening. When someone speaks, notice if you feel a reaction in your body. Maybe write down what they said and how it made you feel. Consider the idea that both your opinion and theirs can coexist. Does one have to be right and the other wrong? Give it time, sit with it, and let it settle.
It can be hard to start being open-minded, especially when our opinions define us or make us feel righteous or empowered. Sometimes I feel guilty for not taking a stand on everything. But in the end, I know where I stand.