I Knew Better—But I Checked My Phone Anyway
A Low-Vibe Message, a Lesson in Boundaries, and a Block Button
Well, this morning, I broke one of my own rules—and it did not go well.
As I sat down to drink my cacao and meditate, my phone screen flashed. A Facebook message. “Don’t check your phone,” I heard clearly in my head. But Facebook messages are usually light and breezy, so what was the harm?
The message was from the wife of one of my husband's employees. As I skimmed through her three-screen-long message, the best way I can describe her tone and attitude is low vibration. And that’s me being very kind.
Once I got the gist, I stopped reading word for word. What I did catch:
“This is Dana Rice…”
“I have to wait until you’re ready to pay him.”
“Not sure what your relation to his boss is.”
“I don’t have a problem coming down there to speak with you.”
And repeated jabs about me being a life coach—as if it were an insult.
I Know Better—We All Do
We know not to check our phones first thing in the morning. It’s common advice, and I know better. I also know exactly what happens in my body when I check my phone—whether it’s early in the morning or anytime during the day.
In case you haven’t noticed this in yourself, our phones change our moods. They trigger chemical reactions in our brains. When our moods shift, our bodies release hormones—dopamine (the fun one) and cortisol (the stress one).
Cortisol, our fight-or-flight hormone, was essential back in the caveman days when we needed to run for our lives. But our modern-day threats aren’t lions—we just perceive them that way. The problem is, our brains don’t always know the difference between an actual physical threat and a digital one—like an aggressive message from a stranger.
Why Did This Even Upset Me?
In reality, this low-vibe person’s comments—her attempt at being threatening—should have had no effect on me. I don’t know her. I don’t want to know her. So why did I get upset and angry?
I’m always working on myself. I try to understand both myself and others. I’m a good, caring person. And yet, no matter how “enlightened” or “self-aware” I am, I am still human.
When I asked ChatGPT why I reacted so strongly, this is what it said:
“Even if I don’t know the person or care about their opinion, my reaction makes sense. Sometimes, an unpleasant message crosses a personal boundary or feels like an intrusion—like someone barging into my space uninvited. Even if I rationally dismiss it, my nervous system can still react before my mind catches up, triggering frustration or anger. It’s a natural response, not necessarily about the person, but about the energy they brought into my world.”
And that made sense to me.
How I Chose to Handle It
Now that 24 hours have passed, I’m in a more reflective place instead of just reacting.
First, I broke my own rule—no checking my phone until after cacao, journaling, and meditation. The things that set me up for amazing days. That was my mistake.
Second, I had to decide how to respond. And the truth is, we always get to choose how we respond.
I chose not to respond directly to this woman. Two reasons:
She wants a fight—I’m not giving her the satisfaction.
I don’t engage in low-vibe exchanges with people. That’s not who I am.
The issue itself was simple—her confusion over how our payroll schedule works. She doesn’t have a lot of money, so she lashed out at me. I get that. But I don’t have to engage.
How I Moved On
At first, I tried to talk myself out of being pissed off. That didn’t work. What I should have done was let myself feel it fully—yell, hit the punching bag, do something to release the frustration. But I had places to be and no time for that.
So, I did the next best thing. While driving, I left a 15-minute voice message for my life coach in England. I let it all out—called this woman every name in the book, said every nasty thing I needed to say. And then, about 30 minutes later, I went back and deleted the message. My coach didn’t need to hear all that. I just needed to say it.
What I didn’t do was send the message to friends who would fuel my outrage. I didn’t create an anger echo chamber.
The Takeaway
I’m sharing this because people need to see that life isn’t always sunshine and roses—and I do practice what I preach.
Feel your feelings. Don’t shove them down. Let them move through you.
Take responsibility for your part. I checked my phone when I knew I shouldn’t.
Find a healthy outlet. Vent to someone neutral—not someone who will stoke the fire.
Don’t engage. Some people want a reaction. Don’t give it to them.
This morning, 24 hours after the message, I typed up a professional letter to the employee—reiterating our payroll schedule. The only mention of his wife? “Please share this letter with her.” Oh, and I also blocked her. She doesn’t need to communicate with me.
Lesson learned. Again.