Nosy or Just Curious. I’m no Gladys Kravitz
Lately I have been thinking about how curious I am, and I started to think back to when I was younger and noticed, this is nothing new, I have always been very curious. These days my curiosity shows up in how I look at people, are they in a good mood or a bad mood. If a neighbor’s car is gone for a few days, if their work schedule has changed and their car is gone at a different time or the outside lights are on a different schedule, I notice. The list of things goes I notice goes on and on. Growing up my curiosity was a little more covert. When we would visit my parents’ friends and I had to use the bathroom, while I was in there I would go through their medicine cabinet. If I was left home alone, I was going through the drawers in my parents’ bedroom. One time I even remember poking around in my grandmothers’ bedroom, when everyone else was out on the back porch, she had the nicest shoes that I wanted to try on, and I had never been in her bathroom.
It feels to me like I was and still am just curious as to how everyone’s lives and home are different than mine or ours. As I started doing my research for this blog post I started to wonder, was I nosey or just plain curious? (Nosy feels like a harsh verb.) Just to be sure I took 3 “see if you are nosy” quizzes online fortunately the results came back and all three said “No I was not nosy,” just curious!! Wow that was sort of a relief!
Merriam Wester’s Definition of curious is:
: marked by desire to investigate and learn https://tinyurl.com/3uvxn2ur
These days when one of the neighbors gets a new car, gets a new garage door, when a friend has been acting different, I tend to notice. At the bus stop when the lawyer dad has his nicely pleated wool pants and dress oxfords on, I know he is going to be in court that day. Based on people’s facial expressions and body language I enjoy figuring out what is going on in other heads or lives.
The way our current home is set up, the kitchen windows look right out onto our street, as I am cooking or cleaning up, I can see everything going on in the front yard of the five or so houses across from us. If they are packing up the camper for the weekend, headed skiing for the day, I am going to notice. If one of the kids is yelling “dad, dad, dad” I can hear him, when the neighbor’s dog kept getting out of the invisible fence and was three yards over, I got scared he would get hit by a car and I called or texted the neighbor. My dog loves to visit the kids at the bus stop but I will remember that the kids have choir on Wednesday and will not be there. This might seem like a lot, but this is how I am wired. You may be like my husband and friend who just don’t understand my fascination with people.
Last week my neighbors who we will call the Beavers were having a disagreement. I was in the kitchen making quiche and almond flour muffins, so I was in and out of there for an hour or so. Looking out I could see them in their garage having a discussion of some kind. As time passed some of the time he was seated and listening then he was standing up, his arms up and down in the air. She seemed to be calm, standing up at first then sitting the rest of the time, not really reacting to his physical expressions of frustration. Gladly, they were in the garage, and I could not hear a word that was being said. I was fascinated by their interaction and the body language. As I conveyed this experience to my friend, she reacted with “that must be exhausting.”
Some may find this level of attentiveness exhausting or perplexing, but for me, it's a natural inclination. It's this very curiosity that has led me to become a life coach. Using what comes naturally to me, I am able to connect with people and better guide them on their journeys.