Empowered and Ready: My Story of Preparedness
We have all had those moments, those experiences or seen something happen in front of us where we were faced with the choice of doing nothing and looking the other way or stepping in and facing the possible consequences. Thinking back in my life I have had more than my share of those opportunities. Look away, don’t step in when someone needs help. I have never been able to be that person. Even when friends, significant others, etc. have said, “Don’t get involved” or “Someone else can take care of that” or the worst for me loved ones who say “You have to keep your priorities straight.” Really??
It feels like my foray into helping those who needed it started with dogs that I often saw wandering on the back roads and help get back home. I have so many stories about helping lost dogs that I will not even start, I seem unable to just drive on by, “what if” always runs through my head and makes me stop.
One day I was driving past Garrette Park in West Jefferson, Ohio when I noticed a woman crouched over her husband who was flailing about on the ground, obviously having a seizure. Their 2 preschool-age girls were standing nearby screaming and crying about their dad. I stopped my car, got out and went into the situation. I checked with the mom, and she had called the police for him, so I did my best to get the scared girls away from their dad and distract them.
When I worked in Norwood, Ohio I was leaving work one day, heading to the highway when at the corner of two very busy roads I notice a woman huddled and scared in the grass. A man, feet firmly planted, leaning over her oppressively, fists clenched. They were in a spot where everyone driving by could see them, but no one stopped. Worried whether she was just injured or if he was abusing her I stopped my car and approached the situation. Is this dangerous? Maybe. But did someone need to help her? Yes! My ability to read people and gauge situations is something that I trust about myself, so I approached them, although she was on the ground she did not seem to be hurt but he was yelling at her. As I approached and greeted them, he stepped back and I asked if things were ok to distract him. This gave her the chance to get up and run away if she wanted to. She stood up, but stayed. At this point it is always the victim’s decision to stay or leave. I made sure she said she was ok; she did not walk away from the situation, so I got back in my car and went home. In domestic situations that really is all you can do.
Once upon a time I lived in apartment building with a boyfriend. Our apartment overlooked the complex’s pool area below. One summer night, through the open windows, we could hear a man and woman fighting. As things went on it became obvious that he was not just yelling at her, he was hitting her. I had to go do something. As I approached the door to the outside pool area, with my boyfriend behind me telling me not get involved, there they were. His bloody handprint on the door, proof he had been hitting her. Just by me stepping into the situation he stopped, and she was able to get away and I got the police involved.
Driving south on 275 towards Kentucky one morning, an Isuzu Rodeo headed north blew out a tire, the Rodeo tumbled end over end across the wide grass median and headed straight for my car. I swerved left then right and avoiding it hitting me. The young man driving next to me, in his parents’ brand-new Honda Accord, and four to five other cars in the lanes nearby had not been so lucky. The cars involved were stopped across the four lanes and the traffic screeched to a halt behind us. As I checked myself, I was fine but shaking all over, I parked my car and got out to check on the others. The highway was completely blocked, the folks who had been driving in orderly lines were now forming a blockade. As these now rescuers emerged to help, I turned towards the young man in the Accord who was closest to me. He was shaken, glass in his legs and arms, I grabbed the baby wipes out of my car. I stayed with the young man as the police came and the ambulance attended to him. For whatever reason, after multiple tries, he was unable to reach his parents. I offered to and took him home.
A few weeks later there was an underage boy walking on the berm of 275 strangely close to where the Rodeo accident had occurred. He had miles to walk on the very busy highway before he would be even close to safe. Like the lost dogs on the side of the road, I could not just keep driving, I pulled over and asked what he was doing. “Going to my grandparents’ house” he replied, I told him to get in and I took him to his grandparents’ house which turned out to be close to my own home. Many may say that was dumb, unsafe and I understand that. My sense about people and situations is something that I trust about myself and has not often betrayed me.
When my husband and I were driving in the blistering Miami heat I saw a homeless man passed out in the middle of the sidewalk, I did not make him pull over, but I called the police to come and assist the man. That situation did not feel safe or predictable enough to step into.
Growing up in Connecticut guns were a no-no and seemed repulsive, unlike here in the Midwest where most of our friends and neighbors have them safely locked in their gun safes. When I moved to Ohio and started dating my now husband who possessed guns, I still had a considerable amount of fear towards guns; but, if I was going to be around them, I needed to learn how to shoot and be safe, so we went shooting a few times so I could get more comfortable.
In 2018 and 2019 there seemed to be more and more random shootings on the news and some fear started to sink in, could that happen to me/us and what would I/we do in that situation? The Joker movie theater mass shooting (September 2019) was a true turning point. It felt so close to home and to be unable to stop it or protect myself and others (nothing to do but hide and pray) was not an acceptable feeling.
This was the time to purchase a gun for myself and get my conceal and carry permit. It was not a decision I was taking lightly. I wondered if I was the type of person who could decide, in a situation that involved a gun or imminent threat to myself or another (as the law read) was I, in the moment brave enough and even selfless enough to protect another at the expense of getting injured myself or even losing my life to save another. The answer to this question was a resounding yes. I am crying as I write this because of the weight of that statement. I know we never know how we will react until we are in a situation but based on what I have done in the past, I am pretty sure as to how I would show up.
My blog typically ends with a lesson but as I wrap this up, I am very aware of how some people may be feeling as they read this. My mother for one is disgusted and shocked that I own a gun. I take solace in knowing that I made this decision responsibly, based on my past evidence. And proud to know that I am someone who in any given situation is willing to do what it takes to help another be that calling the cops or getting personally involved.
P.S. These situation are told as best that I remember them. These are highly charged situations.