Crafting Capabilities: Exploring DIY on My Terms
My writing, I have found, is often my way of exploring or working through something that is happening in my life. The origin of this post was about 2 weeks ago as I was headed to pick out a bathroom vanity. After doing lots of online research, and visiting a Home Depot store, which honestly left me feeling like I would never be able to afford what I wanted in a vanity, I came across Columbus Liquidators and they seemed to have higher-quality vanities than I was finding online. As a liquidation store, their inventory changes from moment to moment, so I really had no idea what I would find when I arrived. As I was headed to the store, I was inspired to film a video.
As I started to film the words and feelings just fell out. I was feeling empowered to be going to the store alone, I had not asked my husband to go, did I really need anyone else’s input when picking out a vanity? Would I pick the right one? And what also came up was “Should a man be doing this?” These were my thoughts just coming out of my mouth, not things I was aware that I was feeling.
Maybe, sometimes I would like to have someone to bounce the ideas off. And sometimes I don’t want or need anyone else’s opinion at all. As I drove to CL, I was thinking about all these things.
When I got there it was amazing, the selection, quality, and prices were incredible. I was going to be able to buy a high-end vanity and the faucets to go with it for the price of a flimsy vanity at Way Fair or Home Depot. For a moment I was overwhelmed and a little scared about the decision and all the choices, but the reality is, I am very decisive (sometimes too much so and I make decisions that I have not considered long enough) I narrowed my choices to 2 within 20 minutes of being there. Within the next 10, I had chosen a beautiful vanity and found an associate who pointed me to the correct faucets and picked them out, all in less than 45 minutes. Had I needed someone else’s opinion or them going “Look at this” or “What about this one,” no I had done it all myself.
Over the past few weeks, as I started thinking about the whole vanity experience and writing about it, I was taken back to the days when my dad “made” little seven-year-old me hold the bottom of the ladder while he climbed to the roof; When I was twelve I helped him build the deck on our house. I remember learning to use a hand saw before I was 12 and I did a real job on my thumbnail at some point too with that saw too. There was blood and pain. Keep your fingers clear of the blade people. From an early age, I was taught to do tough things, things that may typically be considered “man things.
When I got married for the first time, I think I “assumed” that all men were handy and liked to do stuff around the house. That turns out not to be true at all. When we bought our first house, I was the one upstairs priming the wood paneling on the walls. I was the one who tore out the ugly soffits above the kitchen cabinets. I repaired the concrete wall on the driveway. It was me up at 5 am laying the stones to create the 10x12 patio in our backyard. It was me who was cutting the grass with my daughter on my back because it needed to be done. As I was tearing up the broken concrete walkway to the front door the neighborhood boys asked me why I was doing that instead of my husband, my answer then and I realize still now is “because doing this makes me happy.”
When my first marriage ended, I bought a house that needed some work. The things I could do myself, like install a new bathroom sink and shower surround, hang the towel hooks, or learn to use a paint sprayer to paint the detached garage, I did myself. The kitchen remodel and refinishing the hardwood floors, I contracted out.
In my employment with Clopay Garage Doors, I was a store rep who set beams in the new store and assembled the Clopay displays. Hanging 4 full garage door panels either in a store or on the front of one, I have done that too.
My husband and I have been in our current home for almost 4 years. When I realized something was going on with water and mold, I tore out the whole kitchen that was downstairs. When that wasn’t enough, I tore out all the drywall to see what was really going on. A leak in the plumbing coming from the water softener. The replacing of all of that drywall, I contracted out.
Getting ready for the new vanity, I disconnected all of the water lines and took the vanity out of the house piece by piece. The new one is ready to go in. This is something that I have not done yet so I have employed some help, and I will be watching and ready to do the whole thing myself next time!!
The other day I winterized the lawnmower (yes, it is February) myself. Something that is not a big deal, but I had never done so it felt scary.
Due to very poor installation, the tile floor in our entry hall is cracked, and you can hear the tiles move when you walk on them. In the last few days, I have torn up all of the tiles and the subfloor. I am going to learn to cut and lay the subfloor and the tiles, my contractor is on speed dial should I have an issue!
My whole life I have loved to watch home improvement shows. When it was easy, I did the repairs myself. As we make plans to move next year, I have big plans/dreams of buying a fixer-upper, which is a huge undertaking. I would like to be able to replace the flooring and kitchen cabinets. The sticking point for my husband is to have a large shower and I nice bathroom. I have replaced toilets and sinks. The key to a beautiful bathroom really is the tiling, the entryway is practice.
The last 5 or so days that I have spent working on this blog post really stirred up some feelings and here I thought the video was just a video. When I started working on this blog post my mind and my heart decided to dig into whether I was really ok with doing things all by myself.
The best I have boiled this down to is 1.) I love to do things myself, it makes me feel strong and empowered 2.) and this I am afraid I may not be proud of……..it is important to me to have people say “wow, you did that all yourself?” Yep, I love the praise that comes with it. It was a long road to get here and boiling it down was not a comfortable process (self-exploration can be painful.)