The feeling of “Getting in Trouble”
There are some events that can immediately transport us back to our childhoods. For me, that is “getting in trouble,” even at the age of 54 I am a woman who still worries about getting in trouble and can feel like she is 7 when the possibility arises.
The other day I had a flashback to being a 6-year-old child. I had gone to the liquor store with my Dad and he had handed me a 6 pack of beer to carry to the checkout. My Dad was not being a bad father or asking me to do something nefarious, he was just always giving me things to do and having me help. As I walked to the front of the store, (what I remember) a grown-up man approached me and said that I was too young to be handling alcohol. I was horrified and embarrassed, even though I had done nothing wrong; I was the child.
It was 1976 and my family was moving to Iran for a 2-year assignment since my dad was an engineer for Texaco (an oil and gas company.) I was 7 years old, and taking ballet lessons, our dance school was preparing us to participate in their annual dance recital. For a reason I do not know and again this is my recollection, I was the one who told my dance teacher that I was not going to be in the country for the dance recital. What I heard the teacher say was “You cannot leave before the dance recital.” Little Lisa was in trouble, and put in an adult situation, again.
Fast forward 47 years……. My friend Marla and I always have the best time together and there will always be lots of laughter. One summer day we met at the local Subway for lunch. We sat at the front of the busy restaurant and had been eating for a while, talking and laughing a lot when the owner of the location leaned over the counter to get our attention. He proceeds to tell us that we are being too loud. “This is a restaurant” and that there were other people eating and we needed to keep it down. We were ashamed and totally embarrassed. We had been “shushed” at Subway. We were adults laughing, and not drinking, and we got shushed!!! Somehow, the fact that we were not drinking feels relevant.
Anyone and everyone may have different reactions to these events, and you may even think that there isn’t anything to be embarrassed or upset about in one or any of these situations. We all have different life experiences and parents. Marla and I, in the shushing example, were mortified. We were both immediately thrown back to our childhoods and being scolded by our parents for being too loud or being told to be quiet somewhere. It took each of us approximately 3 days to get over the embarrassment.
Then just this week we repossessed a vehicle and although I had followed the rules (contract) and tried to reach the person for 2 weeks (with no luck) before taking his, vehicle, here I was with him questioning what he owed and asking me to send him a copy of his contract. Although I would “win,” having the feeling that he was going to threaten to call a lawyer or contact the Ohio Attorney General scares me to death.
This fear of getting into trouble continues and I find myself getting worked up anytime I feel like anyone is going to scold me or give me a talking to about anything. Our emotions are always a work in progress.