Have you ever…

Chasing What We Think We “Want”

Have you ever felt like there was something you wanted to have or accomplish, and that if you did it or got it you would feel happy, complete, validated? You had “arrived?”

I was excited when I was elected to the board of the Ohio Independent Dealers Association. These people were smart, accomplished, and I was on a “board.” I felt like this meant I was someone, I was important. What also came with this position were obligations and expectations. Meetings, quarterly events, attending dinners that ran past my bedtime. A few years in, I realized that I did not enjoy going to the events and staying up late to attend awards dinners. This was when I knew that I needed to resign. I was letting the association down.

There is a monthly trade magazine called the Used Car Dealer Magazine, when I was interviewed for a piece in the magazine, it was fun, and I told my friends. What did it mean to me? How did it contribute to my growth?

Joining a Dealer’s 20 Group is an invaluable experience and resource when you are running a car business. And a big step to uplevel myself. When it felt right and doable (2019), I made the leap and spent the money to join a Group and traveled to quarterly meetings in fun locations. The people I met will be friends for life. They helped me recognize changes and improvements that needed to be made in my business. In 2022, I realized that the car business was not the long-term path for me and it would be slowly wound down. Shortly after realizing this, I left the 20 Group.

Once you get the things that you are chasing, do they make you happy, complete or give you validation? Most frequently the answer is “no.”

 In 2023, I have completely shifted my career path, for the first time in my life I am consciously choosing my “what next.” Going forward I will not be “chasing” things or doing things in the search of validation. Since I am now walking a path the I have intentionally chosen (or did it choose me.)  I will be making decisions through the lens of my personal values. They are Wisdom, Self-Discipline, Health and Meaning in Life.

I may slip up but it’s different now.