Listening

Are you a good listener? If you think you are, are you really?  While someone is speaking are you thinking about what you are going to say next?? Or, maybe you aren’t paying attention, because you don’t really want to be listening to the person who is talking.

I am by no means perfect (I say this about most things) but, by golly I try to give everyone my full attention. I listen to what they are saying, not thinking about how it relates to me or what I am going to say next. Sometimes, I will write down what I do want to say in response, so I don’t forget it and do not have to think about it while they are speaking.

Recently, my husband admitted that he does not listen when people talk because he “usually knows what they are going to say.” This blew me away but helped me make sense of SOOOO many conversations.

I don’t correct people when they use the wrong word, if what they are saying does not necessarily make sense, I do try to figure out what they mean based on what I know about them, what we have discussed in the past. If I can’t make sense of it, I ask questions.

On the flipside, I have very little “use” for people who ramble on about themselves, do not listen when others are talking. And, if you don’t ask about me (because I will always ask about you) then we really can’t spend time together. Harsh?  Boundaries can be….

There are always exceptions. When a friend just needs to get it out for an hour, I will just listen, then ask questions

My listening skills are something I work on. A book I read 30 plus years ago “Tune In, Before Someone Else Tunes You Out,” had a serious impact on me.

Listening matters……in so many ways.